God never wastes a hurt ..

so im reading this book that heidi gave me (thanks heids!) .. its called pathway to purpose for women (by katie brazelton). i thought it was perfect especially for a time such as this where i have no idea where God wants me to be ..

althought i had some qualms (yes i said qualms) about the book .. (its pretty typi Christian flowery frou frou God is super! writing) .. there are parts that strike a cord with me, my heart, and my questions. the first chapter was about reconciliation and forgiveness .. and this week i realized that i am starting this new year right. by making peace with people and past relationships, refocusing on whats really important, and ready to go wherever God wants me to be.

this chapter was about finding purpose in your everyday. dianne said is best when she reminded us that our "everyday is extraordinary." and so i have been living. i may sulk every now and then but lately i've been seeing how God is amazing and perfect even in the days i dont even leave the house. like times i get to see my grandma smile and hear her laugh (it really is life giving). or when i get to finally respond to an email of a friend. cook dinner for my fam. take time to actually spend with God. study for the gres. bake. clean for my family. lately i've been seeing these days as long awaited rest. im finally doing me. and i like it.

the book also reminds me that God is seeing how I can find and experience Him on the daily and through the small things so that He can entrust me with bigger things in the future .. everyone is blessed with talents and skills and i know that God will reveal to me with impeccable timing how i can use them .. also that He has already given us roles to play .. as daughters/sons, friends, partners, cousins, ect. and those roles are just as important as leader, community inspirer, worker, etc .. so we shouldn't overlook them and we should also learn how to praise God through those tasks ..

to make a week long revelation short .. im learning to love my unsettled time here .. seeing God in everyway i can .. being real with myself and enjoying as much as i can .. esp through recharging myself .. these past 9 years of ministry (in and outside of church) have been hard .. so its nice to just ....be. (haha..stupid treK)

tomorrow me and mark are meeting with a leader from p.y.c (pilipino youth center?) of vallejo .. on our first visit there he asked us if we wanted to do a workshop this monday .. haha ahm like..do you know who we are? do you know where we been? lemme chill first homie! haha .. and at night imma check out a Bible study from justus' church .. gotta check my stereotypes and apprehensions about mainstream Christianity at the door foreal .. but im praying for good things .. i know God is at work today tomorrow, and for the rest of this confusion we call life ..

til peace (can be) easy ... i end it with a verse from the Bible and quoted in the book im reading (beautifully if you ask me)..

"But blessed is the [wo]man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord [her] hope and confidence. [She] is like a tree planted along a riverbank, with its roots reaching deep into the water - a tree not bothered by the heat nor worried by long months of drought. Its leaves stay green, and it goes right on producing all its luscious fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

God bless..
`bienOwie