i love lists.

things to do before i leave la (which is a whole other story)

1. hollywood cemetary - watch a movie (womp womp .. only in the summer !! :/ )
2. getty
3. griffith observatory - horse back riding in griffith park
4. museuem of tolerance
5. museum of natural history
6. watch a movie at disney el capitan theatre - character breakfast
7. hike to hollywood sign
8. sprinkles
9. scoops
10. rollerblade in venice
11. bowl at lucky strike
12. hollywood movie premiere - http://www.seeingstars.com/Calendar/index.shtml#premieres
13. walk chinatown
14. explore downtown more
15. wednesday night dub club
16. la brea tar pits
17. wach a tv screening
18. sing kareoke in korea town - http://www.yelp.com/biz/feel-los-angeles#hrid:ArxMb1pxwxRvPWkh8_AAig/query:kareoke
19. Pueblo de Los Angeles Historic Monument
20. go to a hollywood swanky club and see some celebs

CHRISTmas to DO!!!

1. drink mint hot chocolate and read a book
2. ice skating outdoors
3. take pictures with HUNKY santa
4. do santa arts and crafts
5. go to a christmas festival with gaudy arts and crafts
6. see houses that have cool lights
7. decorate!!
8. go to christmas in the park (san jose!)
9. dwp festival of lights
10. buy christmas socks!
11. buy christmas pajamas (onesies!)
12. make a real gingerbread house
13. wear christmas earrings, pins, and loveliness!
14. be cold in union square and eat hot dogs on the corner
15. wear scarves and mittens and thick coats
16. wear my reindeer ears downtown
17. listen to christmas songs (a must - mariah carey. nsync. britney spears. monica. christmas shoes. opm christmas jams.)
18. watch christmas movies (see list below) while eating popcorn from a holiday popcorn tin (that has the 3 kinds of popcorn) and holiday cookies - my favorite ones with the sugar sprinkles on them
19. throw dope christmas parties with themes and such
20. eat all the new kinds of candy canes!! (there' are ones with bubble gum in them!!!)

CHRISTmas movies

1. this christmas
2. elf
3. scrooge
4. all i want for christmas
5. a christmas story
6. grinch
7. the nightmare before christmas

any suggestions ..for any of the lists?? wanna join me ?? YAY!!!!!

need to do this one more

for freedom.

i breathe into you
into unknown and untravelled
release the inhibition of pain
let it heal me
for fear can only hold me
for so long

i want to breathe you
intoxication of independent indecision intolerant of personal democracy
it has to be a choice you see?
to let me fear free
the darkness will be seduceed by my light
open my heart and scream flight
the Wind my guide

breathe deeply
into new stories
for prediction of depth
has no place in new strength
i am ready to release chaos only to breathe in security
fill me once with air sweet of surrender
twice until i am liberation for love

no more holding and waiting for change
i am the change i wish to see
it is not in you but me
breathe change into existence
breathe into it

i begin with a hope

i have gained new visions on your love
it is momentary
quick flashing convalescent colors
diluted in a sunset burning my eyes
your sunset used to bring me flowers
but now adoration is too late to keep me waiting


one day
my secrets will drown you into loving me
one day
youll teach me peace through insanity
one day
my tears will be enough to defeat this silence
one day
your love will flow consistent

past paths have brought me here again
i released power too soon
and was left under the moon
to regain what's left of my shame
what was once reality
are now hopeless fantasies
of your return

and can i say ???

by 25.

clean up my credit. have a stable savings account. really get into something crafty (haha).wear a gown somewhere.watch the sunrise. go skydiving.

**

it's funny that now that i'm in la, i know that the bay is my home...i'm not going to lie i miss it .. but i know that la needs to happen.

i deserve the dream. and God is bringing it to me. i have been so blessed this last month...with moving .. vegas and new york .. our apartment .. fixing things with my parents .. my job .. i am truly relearning faith and surrender. every morning i wake up and literally think, "what am i doing here??" hahah .. its crazy but exciting ... i am all up in the ambiguity ..and im loving it.

*

i am obsessed with in the heights..it was moving to see people of color on stage confusing the rich white people on broadway. to hear songs about machismo .. parental sacrifice.. and community pressure. not to mention benny makes me want to melt into his eyebrows of love haha .. in the heights is the bomb. (yea i said it) get on that son!!

one.

one picture a day. an idea per my best friend dunny darko.
to remember. to reflect. to grow.

today? ..."weeknights."

this is my attempt at trying to create a home. a very elusive and relative idea it seems.


today at starbucks i ordered a "Tall White Tea." ha. i giggled. the barista did not. hope someone enjoyed that.